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7.11.12

The Weight Debate - Diets, Real Women & Diversity.


Hi guys! This post has taken me months and months to put together, discussing body image and women's battle between the sizes. This isn't going to be a rant post, moaning about trolls or being this weight, or that weight. It's going to be a post about perception, acceptance and diversity. Through my experiences and thoughts, I hope I can help, encourage and teach people to think before they speak.
Time and time again do I and other women receive remarks about our weight, our size and our overall appearance. Especially for bloggers and Youtubers; it comes with putting yourself "out there" on the internet. You all know I love posting photos on Instagram, for example - always sharing my photos of the day, what I'm doing and even what I'm eating! Nine times out of ten I receive outspoken remarks on these said food pics, such as; "But you're so thin?" "How can you eat that, and be so skinny?" "You're a stick! How can you even eat that?" - the list goes on, and on, and on. I have been called everything under the sun, from dying-looking to anorexic, to a twiglet and many more. However, very rarely do people deem these remarks as negative. How dare I be insulted by such remarks!
There's a mindset nowadays, that somehow justifies slim people receiving insults thrown at them regarding their size. There isn't any harm in labeling Person A anorexic, or Person B a twig. Sure, they're skinny? They're obviously not going to be offended, right? Wrong. People need to realise that by calling someone thin, is just as rude, outspoken and possibly insulting as calling someone fat. There'd be uproar if someone posted a comment on a curvy girl's photo, saying "Omg, you're so fat - how can you eat that?" but for some reason, if the same is said towards a skinny girl (swap 'fat', for 'thin'), nobody bats an eyelid. That's wrong, straight-out.
What scares me, and I mean genuinely scares me, are the questions I get about dieting and my eating habits daily. (I'm used to them now, and I of course have learnt to accept I'll receive them if I post photos of my food.) Some folk automatically think that someone of a slim build is either 1. on a diet 2. has an eating disorder, for them to be able to eat such things as junk food or a cake! Firstly, some people don't seem to be aware of the existence of a fast metabolism; where fat burns quite quickly in someone's body once consumed. My whole family has a fast metabolism, we're all slim. That's good, I'm not complaining about that and I never have. However, what annoys me are the comments I receive from people regarding my build - constantly. Half of the people don't mean to be insulting, and are just genuinely curious about my eating habits - others assume that I won't be offended if a word such as 'thin' is labelled on me. I've talked to readers about this before, whether they have experienced similar comments or have said something to me, and were curious as to why I was offended by their words. This is something I've felt I've needed to address for a long, long time - on my blog, out in the open for everyone to read and discuss.
I believe in the impact of words, I believe words can hurt someone just as much as a punch in the face. When talking about someone of a slim build, I prefer to use the words "slim" and "slender", instead of "thin" and "skinny", for example. The latter two have an underlying harshness to them, and are often words used when by the media when negatively discussing slim people. My weight doesn't define me; it's not what I'm here to do. I post videos and blog posts discussing fashion, beauty, maybe the latest events or whatever I may be up to or thinking. I'm not here to discuss my clothing size or how I "stay in shape", it's not what I'm interested or passionate about. 
Don't get me wrong, I know first-hand the difficulties and abuse curvier women go through (I've had bigger friends and relatives deal with abuse due to their size) but believe it or not, slimmer women go through the exact same abuse - just the other way around. I'm here on behalf of the slender girls, girls who may not be a D Cup and for girls who've had an eating disorder accusations thrown at them, merely for the size that they are. Not all slim people are unwell or unhealthy, and the same goes for bigger women - not all are overweight, or sick. 
One of the biggest issues I have in regards to women's (and men's) perception of body shapes and sizes, is the term "real women". I see this term being used daily; fellow bloggers use it, the media, celebrities, the average internet user - you name it! A few months back I unfollowed a blogger I used to really look up to for years and years, because she used this term. She was a vintage-lover; always posting retro photos and discussing vintage hair and makeup. I always checked her blog to see her daily musings! One day, she posted a photo of a curvaceous 1940s pin-up woman, with the caption "That's what I like to see. Curves on a REAL woman!" This took me aback completely, and every inch of respect I had for her was lost instantly. Apparently, you're only a real woman if you have big boobs and a bigger bum? Slimmer women with smaller chests and a few visible bones here and there, are just illusions sure. We're not real, we're holographic fake women? (I laughed out loud typing that, by the way.) Pffft! I don't have a boob to my name, does that mean I'm not a real woman? No! Years back, I felt ashamed because of that. I felt I was wrong, I felt I wasn't sexy, I felt that I'd never get a boyfriend because I didn't match these "real women" expectations. Over the years, I've said sod it to that because I know I'm a woman, regardless of my size and features. You're a REAL woman regardless of your dress size, your cup size, your hair length, your skin colour, your sexuality and many, many more. Marilyn Monroe is always labelled a "real woman" because of her curves; was Audrey Hepburn not a real woman too? With her slim frame and deer-like features? Of course she was, they were both as exquisite as each other.
You're in no way superior to another woman, based purely on your appearance. Those things do not define sex appeal, nor do they define what people find universally attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as they say! Everyday women are put in a war with each other - on magazine covers it's always evident; who's too skinny one day, and who's too fat the next! It's a constant war between sizes, and it needs to stop. Magazine's claiming that curvy is right, and slim is wrong? It's nonsense. It's confusing for all of us, especially younger girls who are learning the ins and outs of the world. (The majority of my readers are teenage girls, if this posts affects even one person positively, then I've done my job here.)
Slowly but surely, I'm developing inner confidence. It's taken me a long, long time to accept who I am and it will probably take me another 5 years to fully accept me for me. I'm not going to say don't judge others based on their appearance and all that, because there's frankly no point. It's human nature to. All I'm urging people to do, especially women, is to think before you speak. Sarah may have wobbly thighs and Z Cup boobs, but she can be just as sexy as Amy with AA Cup boobs and a flat bum! Nobody is in any position to state whether someone or something is appealing to everyone; we all have our preferences. Women should stick together, we're our own worst enemy when it comes to our appearance and size is something we'll always be touchy about. Accept each other, accept diversity, it's what makes us unique. If we all looked the same, the world would be a very, very boring place to live.

Have you ever experienced prejudice and abuse, regarding your appearance and specifically your size? Let me know your thoughts and experiences..